就算是在梦里，依旧很清楚的记得。
“这是你的决定？”
非常迟疑，但我得说：“。。。是。”
“我不会勉强你。。也不会求你。”我看见你眼中渐渐凝聚的冷漠和愤怒。
“我知道。。”骄傲如你怎么会去求人。
你调头走去客厅的另一端。我看着你僵硬的背影，开始有点后悔了。
“给我一个理由。”
你在哭吗？我听见你的声音都破碎了。
从没在你面前哭过，在这一秒，眼泪不争气的流下来。
泪流满面，我是极心痛的。
我从没想过这会是我们的结局，从没想过你对我有一份依恋。
我。。 也曾经对你有依恋。
“对不起。”我已经尽力地忍着我的哽咽，不让你听见。
“你要离开了？” 你问，回头望望我。
你曾经说过会把全世界的美好都给我，无忧无虑地，不会让我哭让我生气。
我问你为什么？苦恼生气是平常的。
你扭我的鼻子，说我不适合哭泣，也会让你心痛。
“真的？那我会用眼泪当武器，逼你就范，哈哈！”
现在，眼泪道出我的不舍和脆弱，你会心痛吗？
你静静地站在那里，好像尊贵的望族，漠视我的狠狽。
你能用冷漠武装自己，可以说是因为你的自私吗？
“你是不是决定离开？”你再问我，更冷淡的语气。
“这样对我们都好，我希望你能明白，我其实。。”
“够了。我们不要再见，我不需要你了。”
你的声音果决，容不得一丝妥协。
我觉得。。真的结束了。
痛得我不能呼吸，眼泪很不争气，好想对你说我后悔了，但我不能。
我能做到的，漠视我的心痛，漠视你的痛苦，漠视那份甜蜜。
我望你最后一眼，想找出你也舍不得的气息。 能感觉到的，只有你拒人千里的冷漠。
那。。就这样结束吧。没温柔的拥抱，感性的祝福。
走出那道门，关上它，把你永远地留在背后，不再回望。
-----------------------------------------------------------
我闭上眼让自己稍微冷静下来，也让五味杂陈的思绪暂时放下。
那份痛，已经不再像当初压得我喘不过气，开始慢慢淡化了。
回忆是甜蜜的，也是心痛的。
我曾问过自己，我的决定是对的吗？也是对大家都好吗？
时间不对，我没把握，所以我决定放弃你。
我很想怪你，想大声地对你说这是你的错！
当你把它推到我面前，女孩的自然反应应该是惊呼感动掉泪，而我是愣，傻了。
“打开来看看。”
我不敢。我已经有答案了，我不能打开，我会心碎的。
“宝贝，怎么了？”你温柔的语气让我很不安。
“对不起，我不能。。。”
注定我会辜负你的感情，真的对不起。
------------------------------------------------
过了那么多年，我们都对对方不闻不问，为何现在才说：“我想念你。”
收到你的消息，说不激动，不坦然，不兴奋，不感伤，不在乎。。。
是假的。
我们都太骄傲，计较对方的情分，谁也不愿回头。
骄傲蒙掩我们的眼，让心软弱无比，一点的伤害造就无法回头的结局。。
何苦呢？
我很感谢，也很感伤。 谢谢你的回头，但是已经太迟了。
请不要那么霸道，那么自私，那么漠视别人的感觉。
你是好的，别担心，我已经是过去式了，好好展望你的未来吧。
当你在天空飞翔时，记得我们曾经约定，我们会互相扶持一起飞翔。
谢谢你还把我放在心上，时间会淡化一切，你的留言我会留着，就当是我们给对方的最后一份礼物吧。
这份电子日记，就是我给你的一份礼物。
保重了。
Saturday, August 29, 2009
爱，不能是骄傲和漠视。
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Dogathon 2009
Date : 16th August 2009
Location : UPM
It wasn't in the plan that we are going because Calvin is teaching drum on the Sunday morning.
How lovely is he when he told me that he had rearranged the lesson so that we can bring our dogs for a day out.
All we wanted is they are happy and have the opportunity to meet new friends.
Joker with her ID tag
Slept at 2 AM because we needed to prepare all the necessary things, such as bottles, dog foods, plastic bags to keep the poo poo, carpet and pillow in the car and so on.
Woke up at 5AM. The registration starts at 6.30AM.
Location : UPM
It wasn't in the plan that we are going because Calvin is teaching drum on the Sunday morning.
How lovely is he when he told me that he had rearranged the lesson so that we can bring our dogs for a day out.
All we wanted is they are happy and have the opportunity to meet new friends.
Joker with her ID tag
Slept at 2 AM because we needed to prepare all the necessary things, such as bottles, dog foods, plastic bags to keep the poo poo, carpet and pillow in the car and so on.
Woke up at 5AM. The registration starts at 6.30AM.
Look at daddy, Joker.
Joker in my bag ;) She climbed in.
Dog Race
We managed to do it! Seriously the day is freaking dead HOT!
I'm worried that my dogs will get heat-stroke.
Luckily I am smart enough to bring a towel for them. Wind and caress them using the wet towel.
Joker and I compete for Musical Chair ;)
We didn't manage to win any prize from the competition, I missed my chair!
However, Mumble gets First Place for Musical Chair ;) No dogs care to get near to her, so she easily get her place while Calvin runs fast to get himself a chair too.
Mumble and Calvin compete for " Fixing Mr. Clown "
Mumble got Third Place for the fastest time to complete the puzzle.
I teamed up with Roche and we get Forth Place! Just 2 second after Mumble and Calvin.
" Fastest Eating Duo "
Joker can't eat it as the biscuit freaking big and hard to bite.
The Perfect Duo ;)
Watch out big guy, Mumble is coming to redeem her prize ;)
Joker representing Roche to accept the prize ;)
Roche was sleeping under the canopy during the prize giving out ceremony.
My daughters with their prizes ;)
Mumble and Roche triumph the competition ;)
" Mummy, I want the can food. "
Mumble and Joker are like the Superstar in Dogathon. People coming to us and requested to take a photo with them.
If I charge them RM1 per photo taking, I can make good money and cover the dog food over the months. ;)
Never think these will come where we brought them out for the dog event.
People are saying Mumble is cute and clever.
Joker can says is the unique ones as I only able to see 3 Pugs including herself. The other two from the same family.
Roche is the most unique ones as only the vet student manage to recognize her breed, which is Belgian Shepherd Mallinous.
I love the Vet students over there, as all the malays touched the dogs and they are fine with dogs coming near to them.
I am aware that they are VET STUDENT.
Just wondering why is the Malays said they can't touch the dogs, it is HARAM.
Owh wow, get me the explanation. ;)
Mumble and Joker are like the Superstar in Dogathon. People coming to us and requested to take a photo with them.
If I charge them RM1 per photo taking, I can make good money and cover the dog food over the months. ;)
Never think these will come where we brought them out for the dog event.
People are saying Mumble is cute and clever.
Joker can says is the unique ones as I only able to see 3 Pugs including herself. The other two from the same family.
Roche is the most unique ones as only the vet student manage to recognize her breed, which is Belgian Shepherd Mallinous.
I love the Vet students over there, as all the malays touched the dogs and they are fine with dogs coming near to them.
I am aware that they are VET STUDENT.
Just wondering why is the Malays said they can't touch the dogs, it is HARAM.
Owh wow, get me the explanation. ;)
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Half Dead and Still Keep Complaining
What a week.
My laptop sent for service. (really WTF)
Wanted to use the desktop at home, but I forgotten the freaking password.
The best part was I set the password and I know it is freaking long and complicated.
Nobody can tell me the password.
Attempt to use iTouch, but it needs WIFI.
What The FORK.
Now I'm at Calvin's house in Sri Pulai using the WIFI service,
updating my blogs using his dad's newly bought laptop.
WHAT THE FORK AGAIN.
I had issue about his dad's laptop.
( Seriously, no gratitude lar!)
Why he spent so much for a HP where he actually can get a MacBook Pro.
( Freaking complaining for nothing. I like complaining, whatever. )
And I was half way to death where I accidentally slipped when I ran down from the staircase.
Why am I so clumsy? FORK.
Prayed hard and thanks GOD that I am alive.
Stay alive to keep complaining and cherish how great is the world in the same time.
...................................................................................................
Went to Hospital University Malaya few days ago.
The service really sucks.
I came across with an incident where a young lady requested about the Cervical Cancer over the counter at the lobby.
The scumbag, which I named after the stupid old fat lady working in the hospital, said out loud :
" Are you active in sex? How many guys you've been sleeping with? "
I was like WHAT THE FUCK!
If the old fat lady dares to talk such thing to me, I will make sure she goes back with a swallowed cheek and embarrass her in the public.
Don't mess with me, wasted piece of creation.
Is she insane or brainless?
Uneducated person working in the hospital.
Cervical Cancer can happens on anyone that have ovary, arsehole.
You don't need to sleep around to get that.
Curse her never can be thinner anymore.
Pity the young lady she was in shock and couldn't make any response.
Hell ya' when you are treated this way, where you actually (or your parents) pay for the taxes and their ridiculous highly-paid-for-nothing salary, for the god's sake!
...................................................................................................
Thanks to *someone* that dedicated a bouquet of roses to me,
wishing me HAPPY GRADUATION!
Really thanks and what a big surprise when you showed at my doorstep.
Friendship Forever ya!
7th Year Anniversary falls on the previous week,
celebrated it with my hunny bunny!
*Love is in the air*
Many hugs and kisses.
My laptop sent for service. (really WTF)
Wanted to use the desktop at home, but I forgotten the freaking password.
The best part was I set the password and I know it is freaking long and complicated.
Nobody can tell me the password.
Attempt to use iTouch, but it needs WIFI.
What The FORK.
Now I'm at Calvin's house in Sri Pulai using the WIFI service,
updating my blogs using his dad's newly bought laptop.
WHAT THE FORK AGAIN.
I had issue about his dad's laptop.
( Seriously, no gratitude lar!)
Why he spent so much for a HP where he actually can get a MacBook Pro.
( Freaking complaining for nothing. I like complaining, whatever. )
And I was half way to death where I accidentally slipped when I ran down from the staircase.
Why am I so clumsy? FORK.
Prayed hard and thanks GOD that I am alive.
Stay alive to keep complaining and cherish how great is the world in the same time.
...................................................................................................
Went to Hospital University Malaya few days ago.
The service really sucks.
I came across with an incident where a young lady requested about the Cervical Cancer over the counter at the lobby.
The scumbag, which I named after the stupid old fat lady working in the hospital, said out loud :
" Are you active in sex? How many guys you've been sleeping with? "
I was like WHAT THE FUCK!
If the old fat lady dares to talk such thing to me, I will make sure she goes back with a swallowed cheek and embarrass her in the public.
Don't mess with me, wasted piece of creation.
Is she insane or brainless?
Uneducated person working in the hospital.
Cervical Cancer can happens on anyone that have ovary, arsehole.
You don't need to sleep around to get that.
Curse her never can be thinner anymore.
Pity the young lady she was in shock and couldn't make any response.
Hell ya' when you are treated this way, where you actually (or your parents) pay for the taxes and their ridiculous highly-paid-for-nothing salary, for the god's sake!
...................................................................................................
Thanks to *someone* that dedicated a bouquet of roses to me,
wishing me HAPPY GRADUATION!
Really thanks and what a big surprise when you showed at my doorstep.
Friendship Forever ya!
7th Year Anniversary falls on the previous week,
celebrated it with my hunny bunny!
*Love is in the air*
Many hugs and kisses.
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